Forwards...backwards...

Well i hope I can post before my computer dies again. Hello blog...long time no writey...just usual stuff goin on I suppose. Trying to move my life on but as usaul not really getting anywhere. Some of it my fault, some of it just being me comming up against the constant barriers that life seems to throw at you.

Maybe that last bit is me just being my usual defeatist self? I dunno. I've tried not to be like it recently. It can be hard when you have a plan, or several, and it's not working out. I know I should seek other ways of achieving stuff but then it's the whole 'can't see the wood for the trees' thing. There I go again, just more excuses...

I just know time is ticking by and still here i am. it seems to be getting quicker month by month. I'm still seeing no way out. There was a little light at the end but that's slowly fading.

Got questioned on some stuff last night and I suppose it made me re-think old stuff again. I don't necessarily need a 'significant other' (it would be good) but it would be nice just to have someone to turn to to go through any problems I have. Someone who is going through, or been through what I am and just to say yeah i get it. It does get better. But then saying that, that would be half of it solved. Maybe I'm searching for my holy grail? Maybe I just wanna feel more wanted? I really don't think I'm that bad. I know it's can be a shallow world but...I know I need to work on a few things.

I know I'm only 24, but then on the other hand...I'm 24...I should have had more life experiences by now...well sitting here won't solve that...