Not really sure what is going on at the moment. Think the happy period is over but not really sure if it was one. Feel ok at the moment cos I've got some tunage going on but that's only a short term thing. Think I made my self happy, which is ok, but had no real reason behind it apart from making me feel better. Maybe it is a state of mind but think you always need a reason or something to happen for it to be justified, well in my head anyway.

Spose it started with the prospect of a new job and making contact again. Surprise, surprise both of those have dissapeared angain and I'm back to where I always am. I know I should give up one and concentrate on the other but it's difficult to let go of the last, smallest chance. Don't get me wrong, it's not all bad, at least I have a job, somwhere to live and great mates (those that are around). Nothing against them it just isn't enough. I know only I'm the only one who can sort me out. I know not to put all your hopes onto one thing then be really down when it goes belly up. It's easy to listen to the advice, acting on it is a different thing.