???

Nope still don't know what to blog or how to put it. Came here last night aswell to put something down but can't really think about what to say. There is nothing new but it just all seems to be working up to somehting and I don't know what. I know there is gonna be a point where I may not take it any longer. There will be a result but I don't know how or what.

Annoyingly I know what I want to do, only in some cases, but I don't think it will be possible to do.

Loop

Why do I never blog when I'm feeling happier?

Feel a bit outta the loop of things. No real reason why I am or should be. Just been feeling a little on the outside the more I've gone thru this week. A little of the old pick-up, put down.

I've tried to take control of a few things but they are not really progressing how I had thought or planned. I thought I was getting somewhere but seem to be slipping back to how I and it was. maybe it and I never really went anywhere and it was all just an illusion?

I've got some ideas but not sure if it is really gonna work or make me feel better in the long run. As for being outta the loop? Think I may have to admit to myself that stuff and people change so stop hanging on to what was and just make the most of what is.

Sometimes whish I could go onto one of those life makeover shows and have everything as it 'should' be. But then would I have alife that wasn't really mine or would it be the life I think I want?

Helping hand?

Always willing to help people, but really didn't need it today. Head a bit all over the palce as it was without trying to sort out somebody elses. Still me being me I tried to help and hopefully did. Couldn't do much, just listened, tried to give the right advice and say what i would probably do.

Just hate seeing people upset or in a state about things. If I can help in any way I will always try. Just wouldn't mind it round the other way. Wasn't gonna go through it all anyway so never mind.

Hello

Not checked in for a while so thought I'd just make a post cos I'm a bit bored. Done a few things since last post and not really been thinking about things so much. Dunno if that is good or bad?

Been an ok couple of weeks. Just gettin the feeling I'm slipping a bit now but not sure why. Maybe just cos I'm not really doing much. Just trying to chill with a bit of tunage but would be happy with a disraction. Never mind.

Playing a bit of the avoiding game. Mainly cos I'm a little scared of the unkown, a bit cos I'm thinking I may have left it a little long and...because of another excuse that i can't be bothered to think of right now. Hey ho...

I wanna go out and have some fun...not that I haven't been and no dissrespect to anyone that I have been out with...a different kinda fun. Difficult to explain. Just still know I'm missin out on shit. Wanna go and do it on my own but at the same time need others there. Things I've done or sorted are just not goin how I thought they would.

Shallow, moi?

Think I'm just waking up to how shallow the world actually is. Maybe not the whole world, maybe just certain sections. Maybe more males than females (Discuss, LOL)? I admit it on a few occasions I've been like it.

I am a firm beliver in there is more to a person than just looks, and yes, to me, it's all about the personality. The problem is there is always that thing in the back of your mind searching out all the 'pretty' people...or is that just me? It's just bollox!

In a way I suppose it's human nature, going back to the days of survival and stuff. That part of our brain has never really evolved along with the rest of the body. It's no excuse, we all should have moved on enough now to realise there is more to it. Unfortuantley, and in my experience (from both sides) there is probrably still a long way to go.

Me or you?

I dunno what to do. Do i carry on as though everything is fine? Say summin (as if that will work)? Or start to distance myself? It's bad that I'm contemplating any of this I just dunno how it got to this or how to get it back. Maybe it will never be how it was, I think those days have long gone.

Think we are now in different worlds. I just not really sure where you are comming from anymore. I've tried, I really have. Maybe it is me who needs to 'live a little'. Maybe it's you who needs to calm things down. I'm trying to choose my path (well more a meander) and you've got yours.

The stupid thing is nothing bad has ever happened so I really shouldn't be feeling like this. Lat night was one of the best nights I've had for a while. I'm just not sure anymore...