Erm....
Was gonna post but can't remember where I was gonna start. Was thinkin about it before I came here and now it's all run outta my head.....and watchin a programme on touretts so gettin distracted....
Not really sure where I'm fitting in anymore. Sometimes I feel that I'm in the middle of everything, and other times I feel a complete outsider. Never seems to be a happy medium. I guess I'm not the only one who feels like this and prob this is how many feel at points. Don't mean to appear selfish or watever.
There are times when I think i've gotta leave things alone but then begin to think that it may appear I'm ignoring or being rude. I then try to sort or make contact and then after a while feel I'm making it worse or being annoying.
Again worry, worry, worry!
Sometimes I think how nice it would be just to disappear for a bit. Not to run away from stuff but just not to have everything goin on....for everything to be going round in circles. Do I need to be around? Would I actually sort stuff out for myself to then come back and get it all sorted back here?....prob not. And it's not one particular thing or person which is the anoyin thing.
Just dunno....
posted by Mark @ Tuesday, January 03, 2006
2 Comments:
I know what ya mean.
I don't have it all figured out but here is a theory.
People who are important, influential, etc. have their time for work, and time for self, family, whatever. It's easy when you have the designated times for each.
Knowing when to seperate the 2 and how to get the most out of each experience is important. We live multi-dimensional lives.
Just like there are people you know who you see maybe once a week. They have their place in your life but for the rest of the week, you don't need them... sort of.
Like I said, I don't have it all figured out. Sometimes I contemplate these things on my time off. When I was sick, and home from work, I couldn't quit thinking about all the things I had to do... but I know it will all be OK. Worries.
(I started to write this in the comment bit of my last post but think It may be worth a main post now, but left it here too)
Hi Crallspace! Thanx for the comment. Think what you said made a lot of sense and is very true.
Most of the time the only chance I get to catch up with mates is the weekend. We can go all week without any communication and then just meet up on a Friday and/or Saturday. In one way this is ok, a chance to see what each other has been doing without running out of stuff to say. In another I feel bad about it. No I shouldn't need them in my life for the entire week. Sometimes I feel it's a 'pick-up and drop' kinda thing and I'm surrounded by too many of those people. I hoped I wasn't one ot them. Maybe we all are to an extent.
Maybe that's the problem. I can't seem to have time to myself. if i'm going through or doing something then if no one else is there I feel it a wasted oppotunity. A shame cos really it should be a time to enjoy the unique experince or use it to learn things about myself.
As you said, and I hope, it will be all OK. Don't think anyone really has it all figured out. Life would prob be very boring if they had. And yes definatley worries!
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