Sunday ramble

It's strange how you can go through life finding out or being told stuff and either adapting or not. It's funny how you can build up a level of acceptance to some things but on others there is no budging.

Stuff that would have freaked me out or sent my head off on one doesn't seem to have affected me as much as it once did. Maybe it's me maturing or something? Maybe it's me realising that people are as they are and do what they want or need to? If you have a problem either sort it, accept it, as is probably the best way, or if it's that bad, and hope I never do this, maybe cut yourself out.

Some things have made me realise that once again I'm not progressing as much as some but I'm not stressing (yet). Do i need to keep comparing myself to others? Maybe to a point, if we are all the same age then there should be some kind of level that we are all at. I realise that we are doing all different things and have different experinces and oppotunites over the past few years. looking over the fence you can't help thinking how you may have missed out or wished you had parts of the life. Not that I'm hugely dissapointed with mine, but could make vast improvments.

Saying that last bit, it's not like I haven't tried. Sometimes what I've gone to do hasn't worked or it's not been what I've expected. I think on the part I'm heading in the right direction. Just need to do it at a quicker pace and more of it. I'm just still laking alot of the c word but if I keep thiking it then it will always be there and always constantly keep me down.

Strange how I can be in a room full of friends and say almost anything loving some of the attention being on me. Put me in a room full of strangers and I shift to the background and maybe manage a sentance the whole time. Logically i'd think that it would work the other way. Maybe not completley intp the shadows when with friends. Then with strangers talk more and be more myself so that theay can get to know me and know what I'm like. Instead I'm probably seen as the quiet one or maybe the 'quiet friend'...kinda lost where I was going with this now...

Is this blog seen as a rambling, random account? If it is it's a great reflection on me LOL. I just type as I think...rarely plan anyhting, that kinda defeats the point as it's not fresh from my head then. Anything posted on here is on here 'cos I want it to be. I don't care who reads. I don't care what I get asked. That's the whole point of this blog for me. I suppose the flip of that is that I often read other blogs and sit and think about if questions should be asked?