There is a title here somewhere

Think I need to stop caring so much. Not doing me any good. It's good, it shows I'm alive and not emotionally dead, but does it stop me carrying on with my life? Sometimes yes. I know it's part of me and I know I will never stop, but maybe trying to tone it down a bit would be good.

Don't see many others being half as bad as I am. Maybe they are but just don't show it? With the people around me it just comes from them being my friends. I don't, belive it or not, like to see people upset, worried or annoyed about things. I know how bad it can feel. If they are down it can rub off on me (not meant to sound selfish...as it does re-reading it). So I wanna help. Usually I know it will be sorted or become better but at the time it still seems to affect me.

Need to stay in my life more. Adopt a bit more of the 'they can cope' attitude. Will it seem harsh? No idea but will prob allow them to get on with it more than with me floating about. Ses other people adopting this and managing to get along. Won't mean I want to stop people comming to me. As I've always said and will always say, always there to help (to many always?), but will mean they have made the first move rather than me being a bit pushy.
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On another note, prob doin the worryin, paranoid thing, but hoping I'm not seen as a user and only going to people when I want something. Honestly wasn't going to react/post/think about it but the brain went wandering off. Need to block myself from certain things. Kinda always somewhere in my head anyway. Surfaces once in a while. I try and stay in contact to see how people are doing. Hoping I don't seem to say hi just to get summin outta it for myself like a favour or to do summin. Once again always on the end of that one so don't wanna do it myself.

If there is a quiet period it generally means I've really got nothing that I feel is important to say or just lettin people get on with it. I know a simple 'hi' is no biggie but never sure of the point of tryin to have a conversation if that's all I have to say. Just to then sit...twiddles thumbs. There is more to it but get the point. Thinking always here to talk and listen so not me who needs to always make first move.

Well that was the first point of this post straight outtta the window already. Oh well. Don't mean to be so paranoid and insecure....apologies...that's a whole different post...dunno if I could cope with me...